musings: the bird and her song

I like today.

And I’m not just forcing those words and that spirit out through gritted teeth and a bitter heart. I actually genuinely adore today.

It’s the middle of april, and this morning, a sprout of green turned into long plush new-ness with purple on the tips. The blooms probably burst at 5:31am this morning as the dew began to settle and creep into the earth, my eyes were still shut fast and tight, dreaming of that boy who will never be mine. As the engine accelerated and pushed our little car out of the driveway a few hours later, I caught a glimpse at the purple sprouts, poking their heads above the soil, practically grinning from ear-to-ear in praise of the spring day that had already begun to form.

I got an 82 on a math test, which wasn’t exactly enough to make me adore the day. But, initially it was 79. So the fact that 3 points were added on makes my heart happy.

While we were waiting for our ride home, I sat on the gravel, and pushed the sand from too-many-snow-days with my bare toes and let the grains tickle my pinky toes [they’re the most ticklish, you know.] I turned my face to the sun and let the shadow of a bad test grade fall behind me as I felt the warmth of the mini-beach under my winter-whitened feet.

Pickles were had and the pickle juice ran down my arm, and though I didn’t lick it off, it still tickled and made me chuckle that something as simple as a cucumber in vinegar could cause such joy in my heart. Flip flops flopped and flapped as I walked to the nearby coffee shoppe

**disclaimer: it was just a dunkin donuts, but a nearby coffee shoppe sounds so much better. The cold brew was quite mediocre, but again, it was enough to put a song of joy in my heart. Coffee doesn’t need to knock my socks off in order to make an afternoon a little brighter. And I had a stack of school work that I was sort of dreading to do. Like, 4 hours worth of writing-stack-of-schoolwork. But I got it done. And somehow, I got good grades on all of it.

 

But most of all, it was a lovely day because the birds were singing – happy, cheerful tunes that lacked sorrow. As if the ones who had passed on in the dead of winter were still there, as if their houses didn’t need rebuilding and their bellies didn’t need filling. They chirped and hollered from sun-up until sun-down, of the green that was sprouting from their branches and the weather. I imagine they were small-talking with each other saying things like “just how wonderful is this weather?”

and neighbors having conversations like:

“Hey Phil! How’s the view from that branch? Lottie over here is a little bit nuts right now and I’m thinking about relocating.”

“Ah, Alice. Enjoy the energy! The sun is out and it is bright, and I almost feel as if the winter hadn’t been so brutal, so demanding, and so sorrowful.”

And perhaps Alice just flew up to sit next to Phil because she liked the way he thought and somehow the sunlight really did make a difference.

I heard one bird in particular that just sang the same song. [I mean I suppose that’s how birds are.] But this one was different. Over and over and over again, it was the same 2 note melody, elongated, pure, and mixed in with the sound of the rustling leaves. It caught my ear and it sparked my imagination. Because just for a moment, I imagined the tiny chirping love, letting her face be illuminated by the heavens, letting the sun shine down on her winter-fluff, praising the One who’d made the day so lovely, so whole, so pure, so magnificent. I imagined for a moment that though she missed Eva, she knew that her Maker was holding her dear friend, right in the palm of his hand, talking to her dear neighbor, saying, “You remember Opie, right? She misses you but she loves me, and I think that is worth celebrating.”

I liked today, because amidst the selfish gain of the days happenings, I was reminded about all the little ones, living their own precious lives, each and every one loved and adored by the Maker of this world, whose love and abounding grace to me I oftentimes overlook. 

He loved little Opie and Eva, and held each of them close to his heart, however small a role they played in the universe, he made each of them sing. Because his love abounds for us. His love abounds for them. His love abounds for me. And the song that stems from that? Utterly and wonderfully glorious. 

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